Tag Archives: personal history

HOW TO LEARN THEIR SECRETS

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A couple of days ago I noticed a post on Instagram titled “Ask Your Father” and it sparked my curiosity. The author proposed that readers should consider asking their parents about their lives. This is how to learn their secrets and this is interesting for several reasons:

1. as parents, we assume that our kids know all about us – wrong! They only know about the time they spent with us and almost nothing about our life before that. So, I thought I would add a list of things that you (meaning, you crazy kids) might want to ask your parents in order to find some of the stories they are dying to share (and some they aren’t).

2. most of us assume that we know everything there is to know about the people in our lives, especially family.

3. when was the last time you sat down with someone, especially your parents, and focused your discussion on who they are, where they come from, what their experiences, hopes and dreams are?

4. how will you remember that person when you can no longer talk to them?

5. what do you know about your parent’s successes, failures, challenges, opportunities

I would strongly caution us to let our kids initiate this conversation if you want to avoid the eye rolls from people who are too busy or just not interested at this time.

How to learn their secrets

THINGS TO ASK YOUR MOM OR DAD

If you want to learn more about your parents’ history, ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share their memories and experiences. Here are some questions you might consider asking:

  1. Early Life:
    • Can you tell me about your childhood home?
    • What were your parents like when you were growing up?
    • What are some of your earliest memories?
  2. Education and Career:
    • What was school like for you?
    • Did you have any favorite subjects or teachers?
    • How did you choose your career path?
  3. Relationships and Family:
    • How did you meet Mom/Dad?
    • What were your wedding day and early married life like?
    • What was it like becoming a parent for the first time?
  4. Milestones and Challenges:
    • Can you share any significant events that happened during your lifetime?
    • What were some of the toughest challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them?
    • What are you most proud of achieving?
  5. Values and Beliefs:
    • Are there any family traditions or values that have been passed down through generations?
    • How has your worldview or beliefs changed over time?
    • What advice would you give your younger self?
  6. Life Lessons:
    • What are some important lessons you’ve learned throughout your life?
    • Are there any experiences that have profoundly impacted you?
    • What do you hope to pass on to future generations?
  7. Personal Reflections:
    • Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently?
    • What do you consider to be the happiest moments of your life?
    • How do you want to be remembered?
  8. Historical Context:
    • How did world events during your lifetime shape your experiences?
    • Can you share any memories or insights into significant historical events you witnessed?

Encourage your parents to share stories, anecdotes, and personal insights that provide a deeper understanding of their lives. Active listening and follow-up questions can also help to enrich the conversation and uncover valuable details. There is some excellent research on the importance of knowing our family history here.

Many moons ago, I did a series of blogs for people who want to create their own biography. It was a series of questions that you can answer about yourself and then hope that sometime in the future your kids might want to read it. It was very detailed and might still be of interest to you. You can always print out the sections and start at any time. Here’s the link.

FINDING THE TIME

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Time seems to be a subject that keeps finding me this week. I read a brief article about how one of society’s biggest challenges is not having enough time in our days and so I began thinking ( I know, a dangerous situation). Whether we are baby boomers or young couples with growing children, time is an element we all struggle with. Something connected popped up when I saw a video about how to create an extra 15 minutes per day to do with what you will. How do you do this you ask? I think it’s pretty simple; either set your alarm 15 minutes earlier or…and I witness this every day, get up when your alarm goes off. So many people that I sleep with (that was supposed to be funny) set their alarm and hit the snooze button and then simply lie there listening to the radio prattle on while pretending to get a few more minutes of rest. What could be more un-restful than snooze alerts and radio voices. Constantly tossing to try and get a few more ZZZZ’s and knowing the end is near – yuck. OK, so the method of finding 15 more minutes is easy – get out of bed, but to me, the bigger issue is now that you have created an extra 15 minutes – what do you do with it?

So, I started with a list of things NOT TO DO. No TV, no email and no social media – my gawd how will you survive??? Keep going dear reader, the answer awaits. My friend Howard Parsons, The Reinvention Equation, would highly recommend meditation and what a change that would create in your life – incredible. But there are also other pursuits like some stretching or yoga that would produce positive results in your life, too. Some of us might use the time to write – aha! Would that make a difference in the world?

BOOMER TUNES ALERT

While driving home the other night, this song came on the radio and it’s one of the greatest party songs of all time. As I was singing along I realized that, other than the chorus, I have no idea what the lyrics are and I doubt that you or anyone else (including the band) does either. I googled the lyrics when I got home and they make no sense but that does not diminish the greatest party tune ever. Give it a listen and I know that Bruce Mazur and I could still sing the hell out of the chorus, couldn’t we Maze? Come back afterwards for more thoughts on time.

Louie Louie

 Just before you started dancing and singing I was talking about how to make use of your extra 15 minutes and how you can use it to make a difference in the world. Regular readers of this corner will remember the series of posts that I did about creating the story of your life – your Legacy Bio. Yes, you could use your 15 minutes to start working on that. Think that creating and sharing your story would not make a difference in the world? You would be so wrong. I promise that creating your story will change your life and the lives of your family and friends. Want proof?

Jillian Lee is a mother, wife, library manager, and a very talented filmmaker. In addition to that, she is one of the most courageous persons I know. She has spent much of her time telling the stories of others and has now decided that she must share her own story as well. As followers of this blog, you know how I feel about the importance of recording your story. You know that it will bring completion to your life in addition to the possibility of offering so much more than mere cold facts to your family and friends. I generally talk about writing your life story but there other ways to do it and other reasons to do it too. Sometimes there are parts of our lives that we need to face that become cathartic when revealed and allow us to heal ourselves. That takes tremendous courage and even more so when you are brave enough to let it help others by “putting it our there.”

To see and hear courage in action, I suggest that you view Jillian’s YouTube video and subscribe to her channel for updates. It may inspire your next step to offering your own life story for your benefit and the opportunity to make a difference to those you love.

Jillian Lee

And finally, time sometimes creates a sadness and loss for us. This past week, a friend from Winnipeg of almost 40 years passed away. Pat Pinchin suffered a serious heath issue for many years but I can honestly say that I never once saw her without a smile on her face. I’m sure there were moments when physical pain took a toll on her but she suffered in private and never let it affect her friends. RIP Pat and much strength and peace to Rick and Jeffrey.

– 30 –

CREATING A LEGACY BIO part 20

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http://https://youtu.be/BtQQ5KyRx8k

If you could be reborn as absolutely anyone, any historical figure, any famous personality, any one at all, who would it be?

What is it about that person that you want to be known for?

Alright, let’s suppose you are reading this from the hereafter. You have the opportunity to revisit this little corner of the universe and say anything you want to anyone you want.

Who do you want to say something to?

Why do you want to say it to them?

What is it that you want to say?

Can you distill your personal life philosophy or essence down to 3 sentences – try it here.

FINALLY:

We all have various things that we are grateful for in our lives. Name 10 things that you are most grateful for:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Today, there are many many ways to physically or digitally create a personal memoir and we will discuss a few ideas and some cautions.

You could simply print off the templates found here and using a pen, fill in the blanks as best you can and maybe add a few pieces of paper where necessary to expand some areas. Messy, not very professional and hard to read would be the words that first come to mind with this approach.

You might take a different step and create a Word document on your computer, retype the questions presented in the templates and enter your answers, creating additional space where necessary. This would allow you to import other documents, photos, drawings and anything else that adds to your story. You could save the document on your computer and additionally, save it on the cloud.

You might be more comfortable creating a video and using the templates as a guideline to speak your answers and also add photos, song downloads and other videos. You could make it as involved or simple as you like. There is lots of software available through Microsoft, Google and many others to help you create this work. Once again, save it onto a memory stick, your hard drive or the cloud.

There are lots of book creation websites available where you could create one copy or a hundred copies, as you see fit. They have the capability of adding photos, etc. and are a “hard copy” of your Legacy Bio to share as you see fit.

You might prefer to create a scrapbook that incorporates your answers to the template questions along with hard copies of photos, documents, awards, newspaper clippings and so much more. This would entail a lot more work than simply “filling in the blanks” but it would be an incredible treasure for your family.

You could keep it very simple by using a 3 ring binder to capture your Word document and any additional information you care to add and put it in a cardboard file box along with any other mementos you wish to share for future generations.

Here’s the important caution: remember 8 tracks, vinyl records, home movie cameras, MySpace, daisy wheel printers, and the Jetsons? None of us has any idea what the communications landscape will look like 50 years from now. Consequently, I would strongly recommend that whatever you decide to do, make a hard copy of what you want to share. Writings have survived for thousands of years on everything from cave walls to dead sea scrolls. Even though language is a constantly evolving art form, it will always be able to be understood. Cloud saving, memory sticks and the like may not be usable a generation from now. After all, how would you play your original Elvis 45’s today? “Ain’t Nothin’ but a Hound Dog” indeed.