CREATING A LEGACY BIO part 11

When it comes to creating a personal history or a biography to leave as a legacy to others, dates and times are important but the things that readers will find the most interesting – is the real you. What were your hopes and dreams – what were your successes and disappointments and how did they affect your life?

friends-1Remember that you don’t necessarily have to share this information with anyone at any time but, at some point in the future, someone will wonder who you were and how you have affected their lives many generations later. You can ultimately decide when your Legacy Bio can be opened and to whom it will be released. Go ahead and answer all of these questions and you can make decisions and edit later.

FROM WHERE I COME

Including the addresses, where are the main places that you have lived? Can you give some details about the house, apartment, etc.?

What was special about each place you lived?

Are there any similarities about the various residences – proximity to water, night life, trees, views, geography, work, play, or anything else?

Create a drawing of your current bedroom.

What are the major places you have visited for both vacations and business?

What family vacation stands out in your memory and why?

Have you ever taken a vacation by yourself – where and why?

What is the next big destination on your bucket list?

TO WHOM I CONNECT

Who was your first best friend?

How did you meet and are you still friends?

What is the name of some of your other closest buddies over the years?

Who is your best friend now – expand on your relationship?

Have you ever been cheated by a lover, friend or family member?

What happened?

Have you ever betrayed someone – what happened?

Can you remember someone “putting it on the line” for you, someone who took a personal risk to back you up?

How many times have you been in love?

In your love relationships, who said “I love you” first?

What was your greatest romantic experience?

What was the worst?

OK, here it is, the one you have been waiting for – describe your first sexual experience.

Have any love relationships been lost due to death, illness, divorce or something else and what was that like for you?

What actions have you taken to get over those losses?

Have you ever experienced being in love with more than one person at a time?

What are the characteristics of a lover or marriage partner that are most important to you?

Attractiveness – describe in what ways

Intelligence

Financial means

Kindness

Helpfulness

Sense of humor

What other characteristics are important or are “deal breakers?”

Did you ever end a relationship with a close friend or family member and why?

Has a friend or family member ever ended their relationship with you and do you know why or what prompted it?

Have you considered trying to repair the relationship?

How would that person get back into your good graces – what would they have to do or say – or could they?

Who is it in your life that you still need to forgive?

Who, in your life, have you been too lenient with when it comes to overlooking their failings?

 If you have children, explain how you love each one differently.

Do you parent your children differently than your parents raised you?

How have you improved on the parent/child relationship compared to your own parents?

If you have no children – how would you raise your children differently if you had some?

If you could ask three questions of anyone in your life, past or present, and you were absolutely guaranteed a truthful answer, what would you ask of whom?

So, now we are getting to some “meat and potatoes” issues, revealing ourselves for all (or maybe no one) to see. How do you feel about this exercise? Would you encourage someone else to do it too? Would you help them if they are unable to physically work on this project themselves?
The more we know about where and who we come from, the more we are able to understand ourselves. Please share if you agree.

CREATING A LEGACY BIO part 10

When we think about our family history, there are always a few nut cases to discuss. If you can’t determine the nut case in yours, well…

Someone once said that every family is dysfunctional. I don’t know about that, but I do know that every family is full of stories, characters and events; some for sharing in public and others for hiding in a journal. Time now to put on your creative hat and whip up a little eccentricity.

family-funnies-1Are there any well known family stories that you can include in your Legacy Bio? Are there stories about danger, intrigue, immigration, hardship, adventure? Are there any famous people in your family – famous or infamous? Give us the newspaper version – who, what, where, when and why.

What’s in the family closet? Everyone has a story or two lurking in the dark that is rarely talked about, kind of like the elephant in the room – what’s yours?

Who is the most eccentric member of your family? Describe their eccentricities and assume they will never read this.

Do you own any strange habits that other family members might describe as eccentric, weird, a bit off the wall, or otherwise nutty?

Is this something you would want to change or are you proud of your individuality?

What family members played a significant role in your life and how? Specifically, are there any cousins, aunts or uncles who fit this description.

Who were your favorites?

What was it about them that made them a favorite?

If you had the chance to act as a mentor to one of your younger relatives, who would that be and what would you do, say or model to guide and help them?

Add a note – a detail or two – about each of your siblings and cousins (something about their appearance, smarts, wit, talent – what is the one word that captures their essence).

Do you know what these same people would have said about you as a child?

Would those thoughts be any different now that you  are an adult?

When you consider your siblings and cousins – who was the

bravest

best looking

smartest

funniest

best behaved

black sheep

high maintenance

Mom and Dad’s favorite?

How fair or accurate were these descriptions?

How did these descriptions affect their lives and expectations?

MARRIAGE AND CARRIAGE

Did you marry?

more than once?

names and dates?

Describe how you met your spouse(s) and how, where, when you got married.

Describe your honeymoon(s).

Describe your spouse(s).

Did you decide to have children? How did you reach that decision?

List the name and date of birth of each of your children (and date of adoption if applicable).

If you have no children of your own, are there any special children in your life?

What was special about each child’s birth?

Considering each child, what was the biggest challenge in parenting them?

What was your proudest moment for each child?

You can edit later but give it a try and write all the gory details as you work your way through this exercise. You can scratch out what you don’t want posterity to read (that in itself can raise some serious interest in your story) or you might decide to leave it in. After all, after you’re gone – what can they do to you for telling the truth?

If you are getting engaged in writing your Legacy Biography, give some one else the opportunity to do the same by sharing this website.

CREATING A LEGACY BIO part 9

Your personal story is a living breathing example of nature vs. nurture and it is now time to broaden our outlook a bit to see where you came from. What kind of influence did your extended family exert in making you who you are?

Many people find it interesting and revealing to have a DNA test done to find further evidence of their roots. Ancestry.com is a website that specializes in researching more detail about the history of your family. You may find both of these sources interesting in determining your history.

family-history-1MOTHER’S FAMILY

What were your mother’s parents names?

What did you call them?

Where and when were they born?

What was their national heritage?

What did they do for a living?

Where did they live when your mother was growing up?

What do you know about your mother’s childhood and life at home?

How many siblings did your mother have?

What do you know about them? Names, birth dates, fun facts, careers, marriages, illnesses, etc.?

How well did you know your maternal grandparents?

Did you spend much time with them when you were a child – holidays, summers?

Were they involved in bringing you up?

What are your strongest memories of them?

What else can you add about your mother’s parents that is interesting?

What about other members of her family – like your great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, anyone else?

FATHER’S FAMILY

What were your father’s parents names?

What did you call them?

Where and when were they born?

What was their national heritage?

What did they do for a living?

Where did they live when your father was growing up?

What do you know about your father’s childhood and life at home?

How many siblings did your father have?

What do you know about them – names, birth dates, fun facts, careers, marriages, illnesses, etc.?

How well did you know your paternal grandparents?

Did you spend much time with them as a child – holidays, summers?

Were they involved in bringing you up?

What are your strongest memories of them?

What else can you add about your father’s parents that is interesting?

What about other members of his family like his grandparents, great aunts and uncles – anyone else?

We have a pretty good set of facts outlined about you and your family but let’s face it, there are some great stories that we haven’t touched on yet. In the next few installments, we are going to take a better look at our ancestors and ourselves as we get into the juicy stuff. If creating a journal of your life or a Legacy Bio is becoming an interesting part of the legacy you leave your family, then share the process with others.